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ACTIVITIES
1. WHAT HAPPENS AT MAHJONG STAYS AT MAHJONG
2. I ONLY PLAY MAHJONG ON DAYS THAT END IN Y
3. I LOVE MAHJONG
4. MAHJONG MAVEN
5. OF COURSE THERE ARE PERFECT WOMEN; WE DRINK AND PLAY MAHJONG
6. WHAT HAPPPENS AT CANASTA STAYS AT CANASTA
7. I GET ENOUGH EXERCISE PUSHING MY LUCK
8. I ONLY PLAY BRIDGE ON DAYS THAT END IN Y
9. I'D RATHER MEDITATE THAN SIT AROUND AND DO NOTHING
10. YOGA POLICE: YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT
11.WHAT HAPPENS AT BOOK CLUB STAYS AT BOOK CLUB
12. BAD GIRLS BOOK CLUB: WHERE HALF THE GROUP DOESN'T READ THE BOOK AND THE OTHER HALF DOESN'T SHOW UP
13. I ONLY PLAY BINGO ON DAYS THAT END IN Y
14. I'D RATHER BE FISHING
15. I'VE JUST BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH C S F: CAN'T STOP FISHING
16. FISHING WIDOW
17. WHO NEEDS THERAPY I HAVE KNITTING
18. SOCCOR GIRL
19. DON'T GO THROUGH LIFE WITHOUT GOALS (SOCCOR)
20. WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU SCRAPS STITCH QUILTS
21. HELP: STOP ME BEFORE I VOLUNTEER AGAIN
22. SO MANY GREENS SO LITTLE TIME
23. A GOLFERS DIET: LIVE ON GREENS AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AND AVOID WATER
24. GOLD MY FAVORITE FOREPLAY
25. I HATE GOLF, I HATE GOLF, NICE SHOT I LOVE GOLF (MAN, WOMAN OR GOLF CLUB
26. LIFE IS BETTER IN FLIP FLOPS
27. BOWLING IS A SPORT FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE TALENT TO SPARE
28. DOES RUNNING LATE COUNT AS CARDIO?
29. TENNIS IS MY RACQUET
30. TENNIS PLAYERS HAVE FEWER FAULTS
ADULT
1. OMG-WTH IS THE BFD
2. POKER IS LIKE SEX--IT'S MORE FUN WHEN YOU'RE ALL IN
3. THE L IN MY LUCK HAS BEEN REPLACED WITH AN F
4. TO DO LIST-WHO GIVES A SHIT
5. GOLD MY FAVORITE FOREPLAY
6. MY TOLERANCE FOR BULLSHIT IS RUNNING LOW AND MY TANK FOR GIVES A SHIT IS EMPTY
7. KISSES ARE LIKE REAL ESTATE--WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION
8. HANDLE STESS LIKE A DO--IF YOU CAN'T EAT IT OR PLAY WITH IT PEE ON IT AND WALK AWAY
9. MAHJONG IS LIKE SEX--WHEN IT'S GOOD T'S GREAT--WHEN IT'S BAD IT'S STILL PRETTY GOOD
10. PLAYING BRIDGE IS LIKE HAVING SEX, IF YOU DON'T HAVE A GOOD PARTNER YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD HAND
AGE
1. AT MY AGE MY DOC SAID I NEED A BAR IN MY SHOWER
2. MY 40-YEAR OLD MIND DOESN'T AGREE WITH MY OVER THE HILL BODY
3. I'M LIKE FINE WINE--AGED, SOPHISTICATED AND FULL BODIED
4. YOU DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE YOU GROW OLD--YOU GROW OLD BECAUSE YOU STOP LAUGHING
5. YOU CAN'T HELP GETTING OLDER, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET OLD
6. EVER STOP TO THINK AND FOGET TO START AGAIN
7. THE TROUBLE WITH RETIREMENT IF YOU DON'T GET A DAY OFF
8. YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLDER WHEN HAPPY HOUR IS A NAP
9. YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD TO BE YOUNG
10. I KNOW I CAM INTO THIS ROOM FOR A GOOD REASON (MAN OR WOMAN)
11. I'M HAVING AN INTELLECTUAL INTERRUTION NOT A SENIOR MEMENT
12. I REACHED AN AGE WHEN MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT OFTEN LEAVES THE STATION WITHOUT ME
13. WHAT'S A FEW WRINKLES WHEN YOU HAVE BEDROOM EYES
14. I HAVE A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMEORY--I JUST HAVE NO FILM
15. I CANT REMEMBER WHAT I JUST FORGOT
16. LIFE IS GOOD
17. AGE IS A QUESTION OF MIND OVER MATT--IF YOU DON'T MIND IT DOESN'T MATTER
DRINKS
1. WINE TAKES THE BITCH OUT
2. WINE A LITTLE YOU'LL FEEL BETTER
3. CHAIRMAN OF THE BORDEAUX
4. VINOPHOBIA--THE FEAR OF RUNNING OUT OF WINE
5. WINE IMPROVES WITH AGE--I IMPROVE WITH WINE
6. FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WINE ALONE
7. I COOK WITH WINE AND SOMETIMES ADD IT TO FOOD
8. IF DRINKS AREN'T INVOLVED NEITHER AM I
9. TAKE EVERY BIRTHDAY WITH A GRAIN OF SALT--ACCOMPANIED WY LIME AND A SPLASH OF TEQUILA
10. GREAT MINDS DRINK ALIKE
11. A WINE GLASS IS AN ADULT SIPPY CUP
12. AT MY AGE I NEED GLASSES
13. EVERYONE HAS TO BELIEVE IN SOMETHING--I BELIEVE I'LL HAVE ANOTHER GLASS OF WINE
14. OF COURSE SIZE MATTER, O ONE WANT A SMALL GLASS OF WINE
15 TO DRINK OR NOT TO DRINK--WHAT A STUPID QUESTION
16. MY BUCKET LIST--ICE AND BEER
17. MY BUCKET LIST ICE AND WINE
18. I DRINK BECAUSE IT'S NOT GOOD TO KEEP THINGS BOTLED UP
19. I FINALLY GOT MY SINK FIXED
20. DID SOMEONE SAY IT'S WINE O'CLOCK
21. IT'S WINE O'CLOCK SOMEWHERE
21. COFFEE KEEPS ME BUY UNTIL IT'S TIE TO DRINK
22. BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEER HOLDER
23. IN DOG YEARS I ONLY HAD ONE BEER
24. LIFE IS A CABERNET
25. BREWED AWAKENING
26. NO GLUTEN, PRESERVATIVES, PROCESSED FOOD, FAT, SUGAR OR SALT--THAT ONLY LEAVES WINE
FOOD
1. NO GLUTEN, PRESERVATIVES, PROCESSED FOOD, FAT, SUGAR OR SALT--THAT ONLY LEAVES WINE
2. INSIDE I AM A SKINNY WOMAN SCREAMING TO GET OUT--I USUALLY SHUT HER UP WITH CHOCOLATE
3. I'M NO QUITTER---I WON'T GIVE UP CHOCOLATE
4. WHEN I SAY THE DIRTY WORK EXERCISE I WASH MY MOUTH OUT WITH CHOCOLATE
5. PMS--PROVDE ME WITH SWEETS
6. A BALANCED DIET IS CHOCOLATE IN EACH HAND
7. I COOK WITH WINE AND SOMETIMES ADD IT TO FOOD
8. WOMEN CAN'T LIVE BY WINE ALONG THAT'S WHY THERE'S CHCOLATE
9. I DON'T COOK, I CREATE
10. EXERCISE! I THOUGHT YOU SAID EXTRA FRIES
11. THE WA TO A CLEAN KITCHEN IS EATING OUT
12. IF YOU THINK THE WAY TO A MAN'S HEART IS THROUGH HIS STOMACH YOU ARE AIMING TOO HIGH
13 DIET STAND FOR: DID I EAT THAT
14 U WISH WEIGHT WAS LIKE VIRGIITY--ONCE YOU LOST IT YOU COULD NEVER GET IT BACK
15. MY TASTES ARE SIMPLE: CHAMPAGNE-CAVVIAR-CASH
15. I SERVE THREE MEALS--FROZEN, MICROWAVE AND TAKE OUT
FRIENDSHIP
1. WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS SO LONG I CAN'T REMEMBER WHICH ONE OF US IS THE BAD INFLUENCE
2. WE'LL BE FRIENDS WHEN WE'RE OLD AND SENILE AND THEN WE'LL BE NEW FRIENDS
3.PEOPLE SAY BEST FRIENDS ARE HARD TO FIND--THAT'S BECAUSE THE BEST IS ALREADY MINE
4. FRIENDSHIP IS THE GREATEST THERAPY
5. WE DON'T GOSSIP WE PASS ON VITAL INFORMATION
6. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY FRIEND YOU KNOW TOO MUCH
7. GOOD FRIENDS ARE CLOSE KNIT
8. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPES CATS MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER
9. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPES DOGS MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER
10. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPES HORSES MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER
11. GIRLFRIENDS ARE LIKE BRAS THEY SUPPOR YOU AND ARE CLOSE TO THE HEART
12 A FRIEND REACHES FOR YOU HAND AND TOUCHES YOUR HEARD
13. FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WINE ALONE
14. FRIENDS ARE LIKE WINE THEY GET BETTER WITH AGE
15. A HUG IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS
16 A HUG IS THE PERFECT GIFT--ONE SIZE FITS ALL AND NOBODY MINDS IF YOU EXCHANGE IT
17. YESTERDAY IS HISTORY TODAY IS A GIFT TOMORROW IS A MYSTERY
18. LIVE-LOVE-LAUGH
19 I AM ONE CAT AWAY FROM BEING A CRAZY CAT LADY
20. GOOD FRIENDS DON'T LET YOU DO STUPID THINGS ALONE
21. HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS
SHOPPING
1. THE ONLY BS I NEED IS BAGS AND SHOES
2. BEHIND EVERY SUPERWOMAN IS A GREAT PAIR OF SHOES
3, WHEN LIFE GETS TOUGH THE TOUGH GO SHOPPING
4. IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED--KEEP SHOPPING
5. IF TIMES GET TOUGH AND I BECOME A BAD LADY LET IT BE PRADS ( GUCCI, ETC)
6. IF THE SHOE FITS BUY IT IN EVERY COLORI SIT DOWN AND TRY ON SHOES
7. WHEN I GET TIRED OF SHOPPING
8. IF SHIPPING BURNED CALORIES I WOULD BE A SIZE 6
9. CREDIT CARD, CREDIT CARD WHAT DO YOU SEE; I SEE NEW SHOES LOOKING AT ME
10. I FEEL LIKE A FAILURE-I'V BEEN SHOPPING FOR EARS AND I SSTILL HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR.
11. MY DOCTOR SAID EXERCISE AND EAT THE RIGHT FOOD. I THOUGHT HE SAID ACCESSORIZE AND BUY SHOES
12. SEIZE THE DAY AND DRAG IT SHIPPING
13. SHOES CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE, JUST ASK CINDERELLA
WOMEN
1. MOMMY KNOWS A LOT--GRANDMA KNOWS EVERYTHING
2. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS GRANDMA MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER
3. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS MOM MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER
4. I SAW IT,LIKED IT, TOLD GRANDMA--GOT IT!! (GRANDPA ALSO)
5. REAL WOMEN DON'T HAVE HOT FLASHES--THEY HAVE POWER SURGES
6. SISTERS ARE LIKE BRAS--THEY SUPPORT YOU AND ARE CLOSE TO THE HEART
7. I OPEN MY MOUTH AD MY MOTHER COMES OUT
8. MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL I AM MY MOTHER AFTER ALL
9. MOMMY KNOWS A LOT--GRANDMA KNOWS EVERYTHING
10 NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS GRANDMA MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER
11. I LOVE THAT YOU'RE MY GRANDMOTHER
12. I AM WOMAN--I AM AMAZING--I AM TIRED
13. WOEM INVENTED MULTI-TASKING
14. WORLD'S BEST GRANDMA
15 I WANTED A STABLE RELATIONSHIP SO I BOUGHT A HORSE
16. GRANDMAS ARE SHORT ON CRITICISM AND LONG ON LOVE
17. MY MOTHER BY CHANCE--MY FRIEND BY CHOICE
18 A SUBURBAN MOTHER'S ROLE--DELIVER ONCE OBSTETRICALLY BY CAR FIEVER
19 HE CALLED ME A BITCH--I CALLED HIM AN AMBULANCE
20. RELATIONSHIPS ARE LIKE ALGEBRA--HAVE YOU EVER LOOKED AT YOUR X AND ASKED Y
21. MIRRO, MIRROR ON THE WALL--WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED
22. THE FUNDAMENTAL JOB OF A BABY IS TO RULE THE UNIVERSE
WORK
1. TEACHING KIDS TO COUNT IS GOOD, TEACHING THEM WHAT COUNTS IF BETTER
2. TEACHERS TAKE A HAND, OPEN AMIND, AND TOUCH A HEART
3. A TEACHER AFFECTS ETERNITY; NO ONE CAN TELL WHERE TH INFLUENE STOPS
4. A FACT OF LIFE--AFTER MONDAY AND TUES EVEN THE CALENDAR SAYS WTF
5. I CAN ONLY PLEASE ONE PERSON A TIME-TODAY IS NOT YOUR DAY AND TOMORROW DOESN'T LOOK GOOD EITHER
6. THERE WILL BE NO CISES TODAY--MY SCHEDULE IS FULL
7. NURSES ARE PATIET PEOPLE
8. NURSES CAN'T FIX STUPID, BUT THEY CAN SEDAT IT
9. NURSES CAN TAKE THE PRESSURE
10. I'VE GOT A CASE OF MONDAYS
11. OF ALL THE DAYS I HATE MOST MONDAY IS MY FAVORITE
11. I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY--I ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT
12. WHEN YOU COME TO THE ED OF YOUR ROPE, TIE A KNOW AND HANG ON
13. I'M SO FAR BEHIND I THINK I'M FIRST
14. OUT OF MY MIND--BACK IN 5 MINUTES
15. I USED TO HAVE A HANDLE ON LIFE, BUT IT BROKS
16. I WAS'T GOING TO DO ANYTHING TODAY AND I'M RIGHT ON SCHEDULE
17. IT'S ACCRUAL WORLD
18. ACCOUNTANTS O IT BY THE NUMBERS
19. A FINE IS A TA FOR DOING WRONG--A WAX IF A FINE FOR DOING WELL
20. MONEY TALKS--ALL MINE SAYS IS GOODBYE
21. I WOULD BE UNSTOPPABLE IF I COULD JUST GET STARTED
22. I DON'T DO MORNINGS
23. D ON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY--I ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT.
24. SUPPORT BLUE-YOU MAY NEED A HERO ONE DAY
25. THE DEADLINE FOR COMPLAINTS WAS YESTERDAY
26. OUT OF MY MIND--BACK IN 5 MINUTES
27. I HAVEN' LOST MY MINND--I PUT IT SOMEWHERE FOR SAFE KEEPING
28. I'M IN MY OWN LITTLE WORLD--BUT IT OKAY BECAUSE THEY KNOW ME THERE
29. YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES--TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT
30. A GOOD LAWYER KNOWS THE LAW A GREAT LAWYER KNOWS THE JUDGE
31. THE DEADLINE FOR COMPLAINTS WAS YESTERDAY
32. HOUSEWORK NEVER KILLED ANYONE, BUT SHY TAKE A CHANCE
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